What Does “Quality of Life” Mean And Why It Should Be Your Guide
Jun 16, 2025
When faced with a serious illness or end-of-life diagnosis, one of the most important, but often overlooked, questions is: What does quality of life mean to me?
Too often, decisions about treatment are made quickly, under pressure, or based on fear. But when we pause to define what truly matters, we can make choices that reflect our values and support comfort, dignity, and peace.
1. Quality of life is personal and only you can define it
Quality of life is subjective. For some people, it means walking in nature. For others, it’s being able to hold a conversation, cook a favorite meal, or recognize loved ones. There’s no one right answer but your answer should guide your medical decisions.
A good way to begin this process is to identify what brings your day joy. What makes life feel like living? If those things were no longer possible, how would that change your preferences for care?
Planning ahead helps ensure your values are honored, even when you can’t speak for yourself. If you haven’t documented your wishes, consider downloading our free 9 Choices Advance Directives to get started.
2. More treatment doesn’t always mean more life
Modern medicine can do incredible things but aggressive treatments often come with serious side effects. Fatigue, nausea, pain, and loss of independence can significantly reduce a person’s quality of life, even if treatments extend the number of days lived.
That’s why it’s important to ask not just “How long could this give me?” but also “What will that time look like?”
If the expected outcomes don’t align with your values, you may decide to focus on comfort care. Many people find that choosing peace over procedures leads to more meaningful, connected time in the days they have.
Our free on-demand End of Life Doula and Family Caregiver Training can help you or your loved ones feel confident and prepared to support this kind of care at home.
3. Ask clear, direct questions when discussing treatment options
When a serious diagnosis is given, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. But taking a pause and asking the right questions can help you make grounded, informed choices that truly reflect your goals.
Key questions to ask your doctor include:
- How advanced is this illness?
- What are the side effects of treatment?
- Will I still be able to do the things that matter to me?
- What are the likely outcomes with and without treatment?
- What would comfort-focused care look like instead?
You always have the right to take time before making decisions, and to seek second or third opinions. Don’t rush into a treatment plan you don’t fully understand or feel confident about. To help guide your conversation, download the free resource: Top questions to ask the MD on a visit. It’s designed to help you advocate for yourself and ensure your care aligns with your values.
4. Good symptom management can dramatically improve daily life
When curative treatments are no longer effective or no longer aligned with your goals shifting the focus to symptom management can provide comfort, dignity, and a better quality of life.
Managing pain, nausea, shortness of breath, and anxiety allows people to stay present with the people and experiences that matter most. In many cases, individuals experience more peace and even report a better quality of life when aggressive interventions are stopped and comfort becomes the priority.
Learning how to provide this kind of care doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Our FREE Family Caregiver Training teaches the basics of pain relief, comfort measures, and emotional support, all from home.
5. Talking about what matters can protect your peace and your family’s
In moments of crisis, decisions are often made based on fear. Family members may urge a loved one to “keep fighting” or try one more treatment, even when the person’s true wish is simply to be comfortable.
These moments are easier and far less painful when conversations happen ahead of time. By clearly expressing what you want, and why, you give your loved ones the guidance and reassurance they’ll need if they ever have to speak on your behalf.
Not sure how to start the conversation? The Good Death Book Club Experience offers monthly discussion prompts and compassionate community support to explore these topics with others. It’s a safe place to learn, reflect, and share.
Conclusion
You are the expert on your own life and that includes the care you receive. By identifying what quality of life means to you, asking the right questions, and exploring all available options, you can make choices that reflect your values every step of the way.
Whether you’re planning for yourself or caring for someone else, remember: comfort, clarity, and connection are always possible.
Additional Resources:
To learn more, listen to the full Ask a Death Doula Podcast episode on Youtube here.
The GOOD DEATH GOOD LIFE Live Monthly BOOK CLUB and Q&A: Register here
FREE Doulagivers Institute On-Demand Level 1 End of Life Doula and Family Caregiver Training Webinar
Join our loving and supportive The Good Death Good Life Community
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